I have a guy that I don't really like, but I have a relationship w/. I don't hate him or think he's disgusting or anything like that, we just don't see eye to eye. I believe life is lived by making "spaces of grace" for the people around me. I try to give the people around me space to "blow it" and still find acceptance from me. Having been aquainted w/ this guy for a long time he has required a lot of space b/c, in my mind, he's all about a Christian intimidator, a person who lives by different rules than he teaches,a guy who doesn't give others a true picture of who God is b/c he really seems to have such little grace and someone who seems to not want to be a hard worker.
I've really started wondering how much more space I should give him and still offer him acceptance. In fact, Over the past year I've kindda shut myself off from him and avoided him whenever I could. I realize now that wasn't a good plan. But how do I accept him when I don't like him and his actions? Honestly, I'm still figuring that out, but I did stumble on something that has made me keep on rethinking my approach.
There's a story in the Bible about a guy named Peter who was a very passionate follower of Jesus and he asked Jesus, "How much should I forgive my brother, 7 times?" I found out that Peter was not talking about a relative but about someone he knew and 7 times was what the Law of Moses (which Peter followed) said should be the max amount of forgiveness to give! Jesus' answer is, "70 times 7". I found out that Jesus is using exaggeration here, he really means offer forgiveness in unlimited quantities. So in my case, I can't just ignore this guy and be in the right. I have to make the "space of grace" a little bit bigger. I'm not sure that it ends there, I really think there's more for me to do, but that's my starting point w/ him.
Do you have someone like that in your life? If we're going to be a true follower of Jesus in our relationships w/ others then it means that sometimes people are going to need some extra "grace space". And b/c it's grace it won't be something they deserve! Maybe you can offer me the next step! How can I be honest about how I see him hurting others w/ his attitudes? When do you have a right to end such a relationship (doesn't the "490 rule" prohibit that)? If I try to correct his actions in a loving way and he blows it off - what then?
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Messy's kids
About Me
- midlothian brad
- I'm messy when it comes to living life. I make mistakes, say the wrong thing, and basically blow it on a regular basis. But I'm not a failure. Far from it, I'm just learning how to have a real relationship w/ my family, friends, and God. Messy's family includes his wife of 21 years, an 8th grade son and a freshmen daughter in college. Messy is a teacher, coach for almost 10 yrs. and a youth minister for over 20 yrs.
2 comments:
here's my opnion which can be taken or disregarded:
Don't approach him as if your correcting him, ask him questions, make observations, but whatever you do don't be agressive- this will cause him to shut down immediately
Some relationships are just frustrating because the people in them are not willing to change- if this is the case then you can't really do anything about that it then becomes God's problem to deal with.
either way every relationship is surrounded by cones of grace and that will never change
Good stuff! I really think this is a "no change" relationship, but I'm giving some "extra cones" for right now. I think this isn't the end of it all. More to come!
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